


Fists Are Love and Nooses Are Kisses

by wordslinger



Series: In Fair Verona [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Gen, background Jerza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 09:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14041362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordslinger/pseuds/wordslinger
Summary: The monster in his head was relentless. Jellal felt the pull of the cocaine eating him from the inside out. He wanted toleave!He wanted to stay forever.*This series is ordered chronologically.





	Fists Are Love and Nooses Are Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for the Spanish dialog throughout the entirety of this series goes to tumblr user [Marya-Nikolaevna](http://marya-nikolaevna.tumblr.com/).

He didn’t know what he was doing. The party had been a bad idea in theory and an even worse one in practice. Jellal had a sixth sense for vice and he could _feel_ the drugs in the room. He could _hear_ the oh so fine white powder softly chanting his name. This wasn’t the roar of a dragon, though, it was the beautiful song of a siren – and he knew if he strayed too close the song would turn deadly and sink its claws into his flesh.

Jellal’s feet moved without his permission. His fists were balled in his pockets but his _feet…_ traitorous things. The couch at the back of the room was shabby and half hidden by two potted rubbed trees and one croton with veined leaves so violently orange that Jellal could think of nothing but a similar couch and his own blood vessels. He circled widely around the plants and finally the low tabletop came into view. Neat white lines stood out harshly against the dark grain of the wood.

 _Yes,_ the voice in his head panted. No. This was the voice of the monster he kept chained under his bed. The one he didn’t acknowledge. _The one that would never go away._

Jellal watched a young boy whose smile was too wide and too bright lean over the lines and made it disappear. Instead of horror he felt a longing so acute, so _sharp_ he couldn’t breathe. He wanted the rush again. He wanted to something other than loneliness and the stark reality that he _still_ didn’t feel like he had a place at home.

 _Wait,_ a voice that sounded a lot like Ultear – or maybe Erza – snapped at him. _Do you really feel those things?_

“No, of course not,” Jellal muttered to himself.

_Just because you aren’t a part of Love and Lucky doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of your family. We already learned that_ _lesson,_ _remember? It’s what we wanted._

“Right,” he whispered. His feet were still treacherously disobedient. Jellal wove through the room, not toward the table but not away from it either. He felt gleefully helpless.

_Just one hit. It’s fine. Nobody will know. Your classmates are having a good time. Why aren’t you? You’re an adult now. A college student!_

The monster in his head was relentless. Jellal felt the pull of the cocaine eating him from the inside out. He wanted to _leave!_

He wanted to stay forever.

Jellal took his first real step but before his foot could even hit the floor, someone punched his arm. _Hard._ A set of sharp nails dug into his arm and Jellal dragged his eyes away from the table and croton leaves.

“Let’s go,” Ultear said stiffly. She didn’t frown at him or scowl. Her expression was painfully flat. Jellal let her pull him back through the house and outside. The air was thick and stifling in the way only the awkward handoff from summer to autumn can be. Jellal sucked in deep breaths and his eyes slid closed. He thought he saw the last of his monster’s tail slither back under the bed in his mind. “Better?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, his mouth suddenly dry. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, Jellal. Just tell me if you’re alright.”

Jellal tore his eyes away from the stars and grinned at Ultear. “I’m good now.”

“Is this because Erza’s gone? Because you were clean before you met her. Her absence shouldn’t trigger you.”

“I triggered myself. I came here knowing it was a bad idea and didn’t leave when I saw the exact thing I didn’t want to see in front of me.” He sighed and his grin fell away. “Maybe I’m not over it.”

“You’ll never be over it,” Ultear snapped. “That’s why addiction is such a big thing.”

“Thanks for the pep talk.”

“You’re fucking welcome!” She fished her keys from her pocket. “I’ll take you home.”

“You still in that old cop car?” Jellal teased, following Ultear from the front lawn to the sidewalk.

“Nope!” Ultear said proudly. “I upgraded!”

Jellal didn’t know what vehicle to look for but Ultear’s key fob lit up the headlights of a black SUV. He could _not_ contain his laughter.

“Oh my god,” he said between fits.

“It _is_ an upgrade.” Ultear sniffed haughtily.

“You’ve gone from an old Crown Vic to a retired police SUV.” Jellal sighed and circled the vehicle before sliding into the passenger seat. Ultear hoisted herself behind the wheel and he felt the weight on his chest lift ever so slightly. “It suits you.”

“The back seat and trunk space is nice,” she said with a smirk.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“You’re a good friend.”

“And you’re lucky to have me?”

“I am.”


End file.
